The Posse By-Laws

We the people of Pittsford New York in order to form a more perfect friendship, establish a fun environment to ensure that the good times never end.

Article I

Life time membership is granted to only the founding members. These special people can not for any reason be removed from the Posse unless the Executor calls for a dismissal vote which will either result in the removal of said person or their remaining presence in the Posse. Lifetime members do not receive any extra or special benefits that only a lifetime member would have. All members with the exception of the Executor have the same powers and rights.

Lifetime members may have their membership revoked if their situation includes at least, but not limited to one of the following:

Lifetime membership is granted to Alex, Tom, Jesse, Steve, Mick, and Joe. No new lifetime memberships will be extended under the current system. In order to elect a new lifetime member, there must be a unanimous vote passed by the reigning lifetime members after this document is amended.

The Executor is the quintessential of what a true Posse member should be. He embodies all qualities that everyone including the lifetime members should strive to be. This is not an elected official. It is a lifetime position held by a lifetime member that even if he would like to relinquish powers as Executor, he may not. As decided by a vote held by three of the four remaining permanent Pittsford Residents, Alex will hold this position. If anyone objects, including Alex, tough shit.

The powers granted to the Executor are not to be all empowering where he ultimately decides what is done on a certain night or on what happens in regards to the Posse and its members. His primary function is to break the tie in the event of one when things are put to a vote. This goes for whatever is being voted on be it the type of beer, what shots that night, the venue, the restaurant, the bar, the club, etc… As a secondary function he will conduct the removal process of a lifetime member. In the case that a lifetime member is being removed he will call a meeting at the Headquarters which will permanently reside at Pittsford New York 14534*. Only when all of the current members are congregated, will he be able to Envoke Article 1, Subsection 2 of the Posse By-Laws. After the evocation, all charges will be announced and the person on trial will be given one last chance to atone for his wrong doings. The lifetime members who are not currently on trial will then vote needing a unanimous decision to remove said person. If the vote does not pass unanimously, then the person on trial will receive sanctions in the form of either intense ridicule, curtail of alcohol intake, being the Posse’s bitch which is normally reserved for Joe or a regular member, or being Designated Driver until they satisfy Article 1, Subsection 2. If there is no compliance with in a timely fashion, then any lifetime member has the right to call for another vote of removal.

The Executor will also be reserved special powers that he may enact if he sees that the times call for it.

All full members are equal. This includes lifetime members and the Executor. Each full member will treat other full members in the most lude manner they can conceive of. At no time when the Posse is congregated will nice things be said to one another about another member. Sarcasm must be used at all times. All full members are expected to have a comeback to every sarcastic remark ever made to them regardless of the speakers stance with the Posse. In order to not be out done by a non Posse member, which is the lowest form of dishonor that one can do to the Posse, all members will practice on other Posse members while together.

In the event that a Posse member is in trouble such as getting into a fight with a non member at a bar or club, all Posse members present must help the fellow member. Even if the other guy is a retard confined to a wheel chair that made fun of Joe.

Membership can be revoked following a vote that requires a simple majority. Reasons for revocation can be but are not including the following:

Duties of a full member are not that strenuous. At no time is another member allowed to ruin the chances of a fellow members chances with a girl unless they rank below a four or below on the scale. An exception to this rule is when Joe is trying to get some. It is required to ruin the chances of a fellow member trying to get some from his girlfriend. If sending Steve to walk in on them every three minutes is what it takes, then it must be done. If there is a thong sighting on a girl that ranks a five or above on the hotness scale, it is ever members duty to tap all members within reach to notify them of the sighting.

All full members are required to have a Posse name. The member themselves do not pick this name. At the Naming ceremony, one is chosen by their fellow members. Once this name is given, it can not for any reason be changed unless a more appropriate one is chosen by the other members.

Honorary membership will be extended to only people that the current full members deem worthy of such a title. They do no take part in votes on important matters such as type of beer. They are the Posse’s bitch when the other members are sick of Joe being their bitch. At anytime the honorary membership status may be revoked by the Executor without a vote. Honorary status may be revoked for, but not limited to the following:

New membership will only be extended to people that current members deem worthy of membership. The criteria will depend from member to member. A non member has two ways of starting the process to become a full member. Either they can apply with a full member who will then bring the prospective application to the attention to the other members so that “special” treatment of the applicant can begin immediately and speed the process up, or an application can be extended to a person if there is a five sixths vote by the lifetime members.

The prospective applicant for an undetermined amount of time will be subjected to the cruelest things that Posse members can think of. The applicant should feel honored to be the brunt of the Posse. Anything a full member asks of the applicant must be done. This is so full members can see the applicants loyalty, and to ensure that Joe does get some at least once in his lifetime.

Applications are restricted to all white non stupid men. Girls can become applicants, but if they are not dating a current member and they are not a stupid blond. They also must rank an eight or above on the scale. It is looked upon favorably if they hook up with Tom and think Jesse looks like a Mexican when he does not shave.

Once the applicant has been tested, the full members, who exclude honorary members, will put the applicant to a vote. To become a full member, there must be a three fourths majority. Once the applicant has been extended full membership, the immediate plans for a naming ceremony will be made to satisfy Article 3, Subsection 4.

The Naming ceremony is the greatest celebration of the Posse. Great feasting and drinking must be done. When it is time for the ceremony to commence, all names from the members will be thrown out onto the table where debating over which one will begin. Once it has been narrowed down to two names, there will be a vote. There needs to be a three fourths majority for the name to be chosen.

When the Posse has decided to meet regardless of how much notification you have been given, all gaming of all forms will cease. Members are required to make their way to the meeting spot within a timely fashion. It is a timely fashion instead of a flat fifteen minutes as it is not possible for Joe to get to Pittsford in fifteen minutes, so Jesse thank him for living in the middle of no where.

Online games such as Everquest, Everquest II, and World of WarCraft will not be played during a meeting. The program will not even be opened to show someone your l33t gear or how much you pwn in pvp. All things related to an online game are banned while the Posse is together unless a funny video like Leroy Jenkins is being showed. Talk of a game is limited to trash talking it or saying what you were raiding when you left.

All Posse members are required to leave their raid regardless of where they are at that moment if they are on the verge of being late. Guild rank, Boss’s health or wipe recovery is of no consequence, the Posse will leave you behind and institute sanction against you.

Punishments will take the creative forms of the member’s desires. However there are situations that require a more cynical approach. When it has been decided that the punishment will take the form of being the designated driver, said person will be required to wear the chuffers cap. They will be required to wear it the entire night at the destination. Each time this punishment is handed out, the said person will also have to have their picture taken while wearing the cap with all the Posse members holding their drinks while the punished holds a bottle of water.

Other forms of sanctions will appear in the simple form of no drinking alcoholic beverages of any kind. Do not for a minute think that that is the only sanction. Penalties and sanctions will only be restricted to nothing that involves the death or serious injury of said person or someone else. So if making Jesse parade down main street butt naked while screaming I will not see the TGS anymore because they make my dick look like this seems risqué, it is, and we strongly encourage that and creativity with embarrassing the hell out of a fellow member for fucking up.

Dicking over constitutes the refusal to be in the presences of your fellow Posse members for the likes of a girl or a girlfriend. At no time is it acceptable to put your girlfriend before the Posse. The only time the girlfriend comes first is for a yearly anniversary, oral sex, or she might be pregnant. The only time that it deemed not dicking over the Posse is when there it is with a girl that ranks a six or above on the scale and there is the promise of oral sex, anything else is gratuitous.

The association of any girl that you or another Posse member is not related to is restricted to no more or less then two and a half years of age difference. This is in regards to just being friends. At no point is a Posse member allowed to even see them face to face. Talking online is restricted to only being nice. The age difference also refers to how much younger or older a prospective girlfriend or hook up may be. The exception to this is that she ranks an eight or above on the scale and Tom try’s her first.

In order to get with a Posse member’s ex-girlfriend, it is required to have permission by said member before courtship is continued. If consent is not given and a member does not heed the non acceptance, very strict and harsh punishments and sanctions will be imposed. No sympathy will be given to the member regardless of stance in the Posse.

When a Posse member creates a new word or saying, it is theirs and no one else’s. Other members may use the word or saying but they may never claim ownership to it. In the event of such a claim, the originator may bitch slap said person.

*-Modified from original.